The weekly manicures, the $150 highlights, the pounds of makeup: Is there anything we won't do to make ourselves more attractive for our men? What many of us may not realize, however, is that when it comes to seduction, less is often more--much more. "Women are always worried about seducing men with their bodies or lingerie," says Mabe Iam, a Miami Beach-based pyschotherapist from Argentina and author of Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra and the Kama Sutra. "But men also really like the less overt things we do. They notice these qualities but seldom talk about them. The secrecy increases a sense of intimacy in their minds." Here's a list of just a few things you probably do--without even knowing it--that really make men want you.

You give good, um hair
You're standing bent over in a ripped pair of boxers so that you can blow-dry your roots. To you, blasting hot air at your head is necessary grooming; to him, it's pure erotica. "When my girlfriend blow-dries her hair, it's so visual and sexual taht I love starting my day this way," says Elias Cordoba, 37, a Mexican American production manager in Oceanside, California. "She's busy getting ready, so I never make a move. Watching her is sensual enough." Why is seeing you go about your daily routine so stimulating? "Men like a woman who seems innocent, even if they suspect she's not," Iam says. "So if a woman is making unconscious moves that turn him on, he thinks he's at the crux of power. That's exciting to him."

You let yourself laugh
When you first meet a guy, it's natural to want to make your best impression. But coming across as too together--someone with no goofy side at all--is intimidating, not stimulating. "I prefer women who don't take life so seriously," says Andy Rattinger, 29, a Mexican film student at New York City's Columbia University. "If a woman can relax, laugh, and talk about something as simple as the taste of a martini, then I want to learn more about her on my own."

You get undressed--and then stay undressed
There's nothing that says confidence quite like a woman who, instead of diving under the covers after sex, chooses to lounge or walk around naked. "It's amazing to see how different a woman's breasts or bottom look when she's not lying down," says Johnathan Jimenez, 26, Mexican American real estate broker in Minneapolis. "I like to watch how her body changes shape." Worried about what he'll think of your stretch marks or that cellulite? Don't be. "Flaws make you human," Andy, the film student, says. "I don't expect to date the kind of 'perfect' woman I see in a magazine or on my wall."

You know the way to his...stomach
After the bedroom, it seems the place your man most likes seeing you in is the kitchen. "I love when the woman cooks the morning after," Johnathan says. "The unaffected gesture feels special." It also feels comforting. "The things his mother did when he was a little boy will trigger feelings of safety, warmth, protection, nurturing, and love," Iam says. And when a man feels emotionally secure, he's that much more likely to feel it in the sack.

You're beauty and brains
When you hit the mall, you hit the bookstore, too, not just the lingerie shop. "Our surveys show that men have a strong preference for brains and personality over looks," says Cuban American Ana Sánchez, a spokesperson for Spanish-language Web site terra.com, which features a dating service. By being able to talk about politics or, say, the poetry of Pablo Neruda, you demonstrate more than intelligence, you also show that you're curious, independent, and confident. "If I see a woman reading a book, it says she isn't trying to get my attention; she's doing what she likes," says Hugo Castillo, 24, a Mexican American copywriter living in San Antonio. "That's much hotter than a generic 'Here I am! Come and get me!' call to action, like revealing clothes."

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Published: 04/19/2005

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